The Power of No

Most people recognize when it is time to say "no" and push in another direction. However, we have more faith in things turning out positive when there are no signs they will based on what has already happened. I like the Lakers because they rep L.A. in a positive way and there is no way anyone can deny Kobe Bryant is a Jordanesque player, but I think everyone would agree with me when I say modeling in all white is not his thing.

I'm sure everyone involved had good intentions, but when they handed Kobe his wardrobe I'm sure he knew he shouldn't put it on, but he was feeling experimental. After the clothes were off the hanger and on Kobe's body, I can't see how he thought images of his wearing those ridiculous clothes could have a positive outcome. If you ask me, he looked like Ted from Curious George.

Next, what was this man thinking when he walked out the dressing room and let everyone on the set see him in his new get up?

My point is, when you see a disaster coming, why roll with the negative results we know are on the way.

Don't be like Kobe and roll with the punches knowing it will not produce positive results.

Whether you are in a relationship, at a job, or at a specific place in your life that is not going in a positive direction, realize the power of no although Kobe didn't.

Make a U-Turn and keep it pushing.

Aint No Maybe

"Tyler, maybe it's not in the stars for you to write."

It seems, the more listening I do, the less writing I do. It seems, the more talking I do, the less writing I do. It seems, the more thinking I do, the less writing I do. And, the more writing I do, the better I AM.

I can tell someone's intentions by their tone and what they think they stand to gain from me or the situation we share. The person that said it might not be in the stars for me to write didn't mean to discourage my goal, they were in their own way trying to give me a reality check. I think the reality we lose is we don't have to make a choice between building a life and realizing a dream.

I just can't look at someone, especially my children and tell them anything is possible without realizing my own dream on some level.

God created the stars and they ain't never spelled out a message of what I can't do.

Note to self: Don't listen, don't think, don't talk, just write. One day it'll all make sense.

Hands Go Down

The young man asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving your father?" Next, a few hands went up across the auditorium. The young man then asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving the last person you were in a relationship with?" and more hands went up across the auditorium. The young man said God showed him, His face was trying to show itself and was pushing through the ceiling of the auditorium but unforgiveness on people's hearts was not allowing God to manifest Himself in their lives.

People across the auditorium said "Amen" and "Hallelujah". However, the room grew silent and the hands fell to the sides of the folks that raised them when the young man asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving the person that molested you?"

I was blessed as a child to not be a victim of molestation, and that led to the blessing of never having to deal with the psychological effects of molestation as an adult. As frightening as it sounds, the truth is, far too many people's first sexual experience is forced while they have very little, if any knowledge of what sex is.

When someone's sexual experience is forced their will is taken away and they are left to navigate through life with the uncertainty of their sexual status. They are left with the shame of being molested and if they tell their families, they often deal with the misplaced guilt that the molestation took place at all. Questions arise in their mind about, the definition of love and if they experienced it with the person molesting them. Issues concerning the status of their virginity or spiritual level come into play when they read the Bible and we are instructed to not have sex until we are married.

And while it is never the victims fault when it comes to molestation, it is difficult to accept a genuine answer that is perceived as generic.

The young man also asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving yourselves?" While I have never been molested, I have experienced what I call self grudging. I challenged God to show Himself and when He didn't, I thought He wasn't as powerful as He had already shown Himself to be. Eventually there had to come a day when I gave that burden to God and chose to never allow myself back into that spiritual realm.

As hard as it may seem for a victim of molestation to be reintroduced to love and sex when they are married, it is possible with God's power. God's hand has never forced or hurt anyone. God's hand has never molested anyone and while the free will of people is stolen through the act of molestation, they are renewed when they line their will up with the will of God. To know that God the Father would never hurt us is priceless.

What you thought to be impossible is on its way to manifestation.