Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Warrior

What do we war for? What fight do we take on everyday? Fighting doesn't have to do with spilling blood, but it does have to do with our passions and purpose. I talk a lot about what I want from life and more specifically from my writing. Part of the reason is I struggled with the possibility that I could make a living solely as a writer and now in this moment I believe if is 100% possible. I say that on one hand and on the other hand I feel odds are ridiculous. In the battle of odds vs ability, ability will always win. Be a warrior that is about your purpose and passion.

war·ri·or   [wawr-ee-er, wawr-yer, wor-ee-er, wor-yer] noun

1. a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier.
2. a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage, or aggressiveness, as in politics or athletics.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Dear 28

Dear 28,

I see you. You are very present and look very promising. Underneath it all, is this day we are meeting just another day? Everyday is a new beginning set apart from the day that came before it and a day that will come after it by a different set of numbers. But 11/23/1983 is my set of numbers, so today is more personal than yesterday although tomorrow will surpass its greatness. 11/23/1983 is my gateway more than my birthday because life doesn't only grow or arrive once a year. I've only known you a matter of minutes so far according to my cell phone clock, but my commitment to you is long overdue.

Like never before, I will treat your newness with wisdom and discipline. I will treat each of our days together like a word that builds a sentence, because sentences build paragraphs and paragraphs build complete works. A missing word leads one to assume the intention of the writer instead of the communication being clear. Every word will be a stamp of greatness and every stamp of greatness I create will be a word, better yet a work, because my mother and grandfather taught me the virtue of the process and the purpose and power of growing my faith in God through that process.

28, together we will be legendary.

Yours,
Tyler Paul Gilmore
born 11/23/1983 in Pasadena, CA to Doris and Timothy

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Powerless Past

I almost feel like it is a waste of time to write this blog. The power of the dream I had last night was immeasurable.

There I was, a young kid riding in this time machine smiling and flying through a time I didn't know personally, but the young man that looked just like me in my dream seemed to love it. And as fast as the dream and my flying fun began, the machine broke.

Thankfully my dream didn't break here!

I looked at the machine the same way Doc Brown would look at his creation. I was heartbroken. I was lost.

I scrapped together the metal, talked to some folks and together we put together a new time machine that was supposed to be better than the one I wrecked. I was broke and exhausted because all of my money, time, and energy went into this machine.

I didn't care, because I was going back in time. I stepped on the metal panels and electricity began to move through my body, but I didn't go anywhere. The electricity settled and the woman controlling the experiment told me the machine wasn't working and she would need more money to get it to work.

At this point in time, I was more broke and more exhausted. I didn't have the energy to get new materials or evaluate how disappointed I was.

I was disappointed in the machine, but more disappointed in myself because I aimlessly put so much effort into going back in time with no agenda instead of working to make my future great. I was familiar with this past, but my excitement about going back to the past meant I was regressing as a man.

To make a long story short, dwelling on the past will leave you broken and exhausted. You can reflect on it, but the way things appear and the way we remember them are not always the way the should have been or the way they should be.

Be fearless and fly into the future folks. Once you reach infinity, go beyond.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Being There

I have this thing with numbers. I call it a thing, because I don't know exactly what it is, but they have a way of sticking in my brain and that way creates memories that seem like yesterday when they are really over a decade in the past.

Sometimes, I sit back and I take a deep breath and think was it really me, or just some kid I read about? I remember everything, but the memories do not have a first hand familiarity because we have grown so much without the people that occupy those memories. That is not to say we have not grown because of them.

I remember looking down at the ground and counting 14 grass squares. These squares covered the plot where my grandmother was buried. Before the squares were laid, I remember she passed away at 5:47pm, but her death certificate said 5:49pm. After the squares I remember the eight words the family chose for her tombstone. There were 17 steps that led up to the #2 apartment where the same numbers that read 728 were in front of the building.

I am her third grandchild, after George and Timothy, before Eric and De Johnette.

More than anything, I remember April 7,2000. I asked her for 10 dollars to get a shirt for a Sadie Hawkins dance that no girl asked me to. I took out the trash and she said, "maybe". I ran to the store, and she said "no". I laughed until she let me get all the way to the bottom of the stairs and on my way home. She called me back and handed me the 10 dollars and the next time I saw her she was in a coma. The time I saw her after that, the priest took a rose from her spread and placed a rose in her hand and it made everything peaceful for the moment.

And the peace from within has grown past that moment into a lifestyle. I have more to say, but I have even more to do. Walk in peace and love yall.

"If we had not loved each other, none of us would have survived." - James Baldwin from The Fire Next Time