At Year's End

This year I have learned several things. . . . Here they are in no particular order.

1. A man's relationship with a woman is endangered when he does things that lead to his demise instead of the fulfillment of his life.

2. Peers are people that you share a level of success and goals with. Friendships end easily as people grow and possibly tear in different directions. Don't deny your potential or the company you keep and should keep.

3. Know the value of people, logic, God, faith, and love.

4. There is nothing wrong with telling a truth that will hurt people's feelings when understanding is at the end of your statement. (If you don't share a truth, clarify it as your version of the truth)

5. There is a difference between friends and followers. Thank you FaceBook and Twitter.

6. Every young man needs his father and if he is not available, God is and He orders the forgiveness of the man's absent father.

7. Your definition of hero should be based on one's acheivement of something they were shown by God alone. *Grandpa*

8. There is no proof that blood is thicker than water in the context of relationships, but water is more readily available than blood and both blood and water are more readily available than what we would like our family to be.

9. My relationship issues are dissolving as I dissolve the relationships that give me issues.

10. Don't panic about anything your job tells you. Just listen to God.

Be Yourself

God uses simple methods of communication to reach mankind because we are not all that smart.

For example, everyone is standing on the work of God, literally. Concrete, dirt, wood, etc. were all made by God or using materials God created and man manipulated. However, we don't seem to bring ourselves to realize how real God's presence is in our lives.

And I have come to the conclusion the world's problem is they hear what God says and they respond with, "but there has to be something more to it." the "it" being life.

While I was thinking of MY plan, God told me "be yourself".

1. Made in the image of God
2. God has plans and thoughts above my own
3. God will never leave nor forsake
4. Reconciled back to the Father through Christ
5. Nothing is withheld from those who seek God first
6. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

and this run down left me with nothing to say, but thank you.

Black Man

Malcolm X once said, "Before you were anything, you were Black." Tonight I felt like writing about something I am, but instead I'm writing about how I feel about what I am. There is a great difference. If I wrote about being Black, my entry would simply say, "I am Black." and that would be the end.

When a stranger looks at me, they know nothing about me outside of the fact that I am Black. They don't know my parents, my level of education, or my occupation. They only know I am Black. At times, that fact chills me because in 2010 I think the misunderstanding of what it means to be Black is greater than ever. With a Black president comes the interest in what it means for today's Blacks to be Black in America.

Race is an evolution, not a cycle so there is no simple answer. Also, the president is not looking to create a Black America, but the stamp of his color is without a doubt a shadow accompanied with his political work. Like never before, we are forced to talk about how race effects our politics and how much it effects our votes and support for our leaders. We are forced to look at ourselves in the mirror of the America we think we live in and determine how we see ourselves. Americans are no longer hiding their views, preferences, and even their ignorance because of the fears many people carry with them. This goes for both Blacks and Whites. Usually people fear a politician after their policies are put in places, but with Barack Obama, his race and color were the threats and he was faced with an America no other president has seen.

America didn't live in a George H.W. Bush America. Nor did we live in a Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton America. Unfortunately we lived and may continue to live in a George W. Bush America. In 2000 we felt like a country divided and damned to the flames because of chads, but on September 11th we all united until feeding our families became a problem. I have not figured out if we are living in a Barack Obama America because race has been at the forefront of his presidency since day one. He was crowned the 1st Black president instead of being inaugurated as the 44th president. This was a huge problem because his audience was set. Some chose to listen, some chose to judge, some chose to rebel and ignore.

Black men everywhere face this same challenge. When I catch the attention of an unoccupied salesperson and they let me browse through the store only to let me exit through the same door without an offering of help I conclude it is because they dismissed me as someone that wasn't in their audience.

They say writers have a core audience, and that is true. At the same time, writers have an audience they go after and I decided my audience is anyone who is willing to read. If a man, woman, or child doesn't know how to read, but would like to learn to read to my material, that is an enormous honor. That is the aim of my reach.

The disconnect between any group or individual happens when they are incorrectly judged more than they are appreciated, and the beginning of a group's distruction is when they believe their incorrect judgements. As people, it is our job to not abuse the power we have to invite others into our world based on who they are. Let's not simply look, let us observe and after we disagree let us not judge, but work to make things better. It is possible. Peace yall.

In That Case . . . . .

There is nothing as simple as sitting on a bench and talking it out. Just be honest.

500 Days of Summer

Tom: I guess I should say congratulations.

Summer: Only if you mean it.

Tom: In that case . . . . .

Hold Up

I wrote a check today. I'm still in my twenties. It was a strange feeling, but the parking structure only took cash or check and all my cash was in the bank where it belongs.

Today, I learned to always have a back up plan when you have to interact with folks that are not in touch with the rest of the world.

Moving to Park Place

No man is perfect. This morning I ate breakfast at McDonald's. I felt good because I knew my debit card was going to be approved. Regardless of how cheap the product is, a man always feels good when his finances are approved.

I ate my McGriddle, I drank my soda, I chewed my hash brown, and last but not least I peeled off my McDonald's game pieces.

Most game pieces lead to more calories, but there are some that have cash value. I got a game piece for Park Place and although the chances of my winning the 1,000,000 dollars is 1 in 273,825,959 I kept it.

If you hold on to the good things that come your way and remain patient, you will get your million dollars. Who knows, I might find the Boardwalk game piece I need after someone loses faith and throws it down on the asphalt.

Keep working folks. Keep growing. Keep your eyes and those game pieces peeled.

What Were They Thinking?

Before I say anything more, there is a lot of talent involved in HBO's "Boardwalk Empire" and NBC's "Outsourced". With that said, I can't see what the creators were thinking when these shows were put together. I can't see how the creators thought these shows would be relevant or popular or successful.

I will start with "Outsourced". Every joke told in that show is attached to a thousand American job applications someone sent out because a job was shipped overseas. Not all shows compliment the intelligence of their audience. Honestly, there are very few shows that discover the intelligence level of their audience. With that being said, "Outsourced" wants Americans to laugh at their job loss situation and on a lesser note a lot of their customer service frustrations.

America was never supposed to be about loss and gain. America was always supposed to be about gain. For NBC to see that America has loss jobs and now they want to gain a laugh based on a tragic situation is insane.

America's stance on immigration is a great example of how we are always expecting a valuable import when we open our borders or in this case television set. Instead of getting a valuable import, NBC is highlighting the fact that greed and bad policy are making jobs America's number one export.

"Boardwalk Empire" is everything "Outsourced" is not. HBO's latest venture is based on a time America cannot identify with at all. White musicians playing the trombone in black face, cars without radios, and women fighting for the right to vote seems like it happened the day after Adam bit the apple. I watched the first two episodes of the show and both times I questioned, "was alcohol ever illegal?". Am I wrong for asking that question when marijuana, prostitution, and guns are legal in various parts of America? I think not.

On top of being boring, "Boardwalk Empire" reminds us that often times politicians misappropriate funds and live lavish lifestyles while snickering at the fact we believed any of their campaign promises. Prohibition may have marked the second chapter in this country's book on greed (the first chapter being the Transatlantic Slave Trade), but greed has evolved to the point where what we see now isn't a reflection of what HBO is showing us. The difference is as drastic as an egg and chicken. I'm not sure about you, but I'm not watching an egg waiting for a chicken to hatch.

If I had to give an answer on the goal of the shows, I would say "Outsourced" is hoping we relate to Indians the same way we would relate to friends whenever we come in contact with them over the phone. I cannot give an answer for "Boardwalk Empire"
and while I try to figure it out, I will wear the same blank stare I wear Sunday at 9pm.

Instead of watching "Boardwalk Empire" I will spend my HBO hour with "Eastbound and Down" and "Bored to Death".

Work Tyler Paul, Work

I wrote this as if I wasn't myself, as if I was talking to myself about myself.

It seems like a lot of work, but if you don't do the work, you will be left with nothing. All the things before you seem close and somewhat impossible and that means you have have to dwell on the closeness or the impossibility of your goal or your dream or anything you are working towards.

Tyler Paul, anything that can be thought of is not impossible. Work Tyler Paul, work. Make time your companion and love her. The face she shows you is a reflection of how you treated her.

Look, write, and work Tyler Paul, work.

Charley & Terry and Michael & Fredo

We have a loyalty to each other as human beings, but we expect the family that shares our blood to have the deepest loyalty. I looked at the movies "Godfather II" and "On the Waterfront" recently. Terry Malloy and Michael Corleone were betrayed by their brothers in separate ways. Terry's brother Charley was killed by gangsters and Michael was a gangster himself, so he arranged for his brother Fredo to get killed. Fredo's crime was giving Michael's rival gangsters information about his business dealings that motivated a failed attempt on his life. Charley arranged Terry in his gang's business dealings, and when Terry eventually wanted out, Charley was killed.

I wondered why brothers would betray each other in two very different ways that eventually led to their death. Right behind that thought, came the question of why people betray themselves only to end up in debt, pregnant, sick, or dead behind the decisions they made.

In my opinion, most of us have the same thought as Fredo and Charley before they died, "I never thought it would come to this."

For you and I it has not come to that, and that is more real than Charley and Fredo's fate. We are real, they are imagined.

Talk About It First

"To run where the brave dare not go". When I hear Roberta Flack sing those lyrics from "The Impossible Dream" I think about people like David, Harriet Tubman, Ghandi, Dr. King, and President Obama. These people had a vision of what seemed to be an impossible dream and very little means to make that dream come to fruition, but they were successful because they spoke what they dreamed into existence. If everyone in the world kept their dreams to themselves, they would all be chalked up as "weird thoughts" If the Wright brothers never told each other they wanted to put a machine in the sky that would transport people, the highways would be more packed than they already are. And there would have never been a need for those highways if Henry Ford would have listened to the people's demand for faster horses instead of automobiles.

More than ever before, our world is dependent on breakthroughs made possible by people who were once told their dreams were impossible.

If there is something you want to do, tell someone, anyone (including yourself). But you are the only person that can't tell yourself "no", because that will be the end of that dream.

PEACE.

My Second Wind

Yesterday, I met with an actress for two hours in an In-n-Out. We talked about life and how to make our dreams come to life. We talked about material she was given to rehearse and how the great characters transcended their environment because of their strong convictions about the situation they found themselves in. In hindsight, my meeting with this young lady was the beginning of that feeling. We sat in In-n-Out for two hours and didn't buy a think, we ignored the looks people gave us because they had burgers that needed to be consumed, and we risked getting our cars towed as we stayed there 90 minutes longer than we were allowed.

As I spoke with this young woman, impossibilities never came up in our conversation. However, I did notice it was impossible for this young woman to hide her smile while she was talking about acting. It was impossible for this young woman to not lean forward while she explained her passion.

If she was a runner, she would dive across the finish line to win the race.

I have a lot of people in my life pushing to make their dreams happen and they inspire me. They know who they are.

I'm not talking in circles about my dreams, I'm just pushing to stay positive.

My grandfather, my mother, my sister and brother, and my aunts never ask me how I'm going to make it. My family simply asks me when it will happen and how they can help. There is nothing more I could ask for.

The Power of No

Most people recognize when it is time to say "no" and push in another direction. However, we have more faith in things turning out positive when there are no signs they will based on what has already happened. I like the Lakers because they rep L.A. in a positive way and there is no way anyone can deny Kobe Bryant is a Jordanesque player, but I think everyone would agree with me when I say modeling in all white is not his thing.

I'm sure everyone involved had good intentions, but when they handed Kobe his wardrobe I'm sure he knew he shouldn't put it on, but he was feeling experimental. After the clothes were off the hanger and on Kobe's body, I can't see how he thought images of his wearing those ridiculous clothes could have a positive outcome. If you ask me, he looked like Ted from Curious George.

Next, what was this man thinking when he walked out the dressing room and let everyone on the set see him in his new get up?

My point is, when you see a disaster coming, why roll with the negative results we know are on the way.

Don't be like Kobe and roll with the punches knowing it will not produce positive results.

Whether you are in a relationship, at a job, or at a specific place in your life that is not going in a positive direction, realize the power of no although Kobe didn't.

Make a U-Turn and keep it pushing.

Aint No Maybe

"Tyler, maybe it's not in the stars for you to write."

It seems, the more listening I do, the less writing I do. It seems, the more talking I do, the less writing I do. It seems, the more thinking I do, the less writing I do. And, the more writing I do, the better I AM.

I can tell someone's intentions by their tone and what they think they stand to gain from me or the situation we share. The person that said it might not be in the stars for me to write didn't mean to discourage my goal, they were in their own way trying to give me a reality check. I think the reality we lose is we don't have to make a choice between building a life and realizing a dream.

I just can't look at someone, especially my children and tell them anything is possible without realizing my own dream on some level.

God created the stars and they ain't never spelled out a message of what I can't do.

Note to self: Don't listen, don't think, don't talk, just write. One day it'll all make sense.

Hands Go Down

The young man asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving your father?" Next, a few hands went up across the auditorium. The young man then asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving the last person you were in a relationship with?" and more hands went up across the auditorium. The young man said God showed him, His face was trying to show itself and was pushing through the ceiling of the auditorium but unforgiveness on people's hearts was not allowing God to manifest Himself in their lives.

People across the auditorium said "Amen" and "Hallelujah". However, the room grew silent and the hands fell to the sides of the folks that raised them when the young man asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving the person that molested you?"

I was blessed as a child to not be a victim of molestation, and that led to the blessing of never having to deal with the psychological effects of molestation as an adult. As frightening as it sounds, the truth is, far too many people's first sexual experience is forced while they have very little, if any knowledge of what sex is.

When someone's sexual experience is forced their will is taken away and they are left to navigate through life with the uncertainty of their sexual status. They are left with the shame of being molested and if they tell their families, they often deal with the misplaced guilt that the molestation took place at all. Questions arise in their mind about, the definition of love and if they experienced it with the person molesting them. Issues concerning the status of their virginity or spiritual level come into play when they read the Bible and we are instructed to not have sex until we are married.

And while it is never the victims fault when it comes to molestation, it is difficult to accept a genuine answer that is perceived as generic.

The young man also asked, "How many of you are having problems forgiving yourselves?" While I have never been molested, I have experienced what I call self grudging. I challenged God to show Himself and when He didn't, I thought He wasn't as powerful as He had already shown Himself to be. Eventually there had to come a day when I gave that burden to God and chose to never allow myself back into that spiritual realm.

As hard as it may seem for a victim of molestation to be reintroduced to love and sex when they are married, it is possible with God's power. God's hand has never forced or hurt anyone. God's hand has never molested anyone and while the free will of people is stolen through the act of molestation, they are renewed when they line their will up with the will of God. To know that God the Father would never hurt us is priceless.

What you thought to be impossible is on its way to manifestation.

My Brother

It's my brother's birthday and we are going to celebrate. I hope our kids are born around the same time.

I Remember

I remember when my mother told me she was pregnant. I remember wanting a little brother. I remember getting a little sister instead. I remember my sister's first day of school and realizing I would have to guide her through places I had been in my life the same way my brother guided me. I remember my Grandpa singing Blessed Assurance at my great-grandmother's funeral. He was larger than life that day. I remember my aunts taking my brother and I to Disneyland and our first Lakers game. I remember the first time I entered the FaithDome.

I remember watching Nelson Mandela's release from prison. I remember learning I was Black at my new school. The student's numbers were organized alphabetically. I was number 29 out of 30 students. Zachary was last, he was White. I remember Black students leaving the school as tuition climbed every year. I remember my father reminding us to turn off lights to save money. I remember the nerdy strap that kept my glasses on during flag football. I remember when I finally cut my flat top. I remember my brother reaching varsity basketball. I remember Benson, Matt, and myself being the only Black males to graduate. I remember Boyz N The Hood.

I remember learning public school wasn't so bad after all. I remember preparing for the divorce. I remember knowing it could work out, but it would not. I remember the divorce. I remember my sister being young and unsure. I remember my brother and I believing in each other without my mother's orders. I remember my mother considering my great grandmother's feelings more than her own when my grandmother had a massive stroke. I remember them both crying. I remember the rain during the funeral and wheeling my great grandmother to kiss her only daughter goodbye. I remember going to chemotherapy with my paternal grandmother the very next year. I remember my grandmother's two rounds of radiation. I remember her last mother's day. I will never forget when my aunt asked my grandfather, "what do we do now?" after my grandmother died, and he replied "we believe God!" My grandfather was larger than life again that day. He is a great man.

I remember being reintroduced to my family and realizing who I was and where I came from. I love them all, because for the most part we are growing together.

I remember ditching school. I remember barely graduating from high school. I remember learning to start over at the junior college. I remember learning to accept help. I remember how our faith raised the money for my tuition when I finally transferred to a four year university. I remember being greeted with the odds of my graduation taking place. I remember graduating in the heat of the Northridge sun. I remember my mother wearing yellow so I didn't have to look for her. I remember looking for my grandfather and finding him and the pride he had in belonging to me.

I remember the words "presidential exploratory committee". I remember my communities pessimism. I remember my efforts to help make history. I remember super Tuesday, Rev. Wright, and racist jabs. I remember CNN announcing Barack Obama had been elected president of the United States of America. I remember Yes We Can! I remember we can all be great if we make that choice.

I remember wondering why my sister would want to go to school in Tennessee instead of California. I remember God telling us she is almost a grown woman.

I remember the way my mother danced at her 50th birthday party. She never had the chance to be a little girl, but nice to see as a woman she gives all her cares to God. I remember my mother establishing our team and losing a member on Christmas.

I remember God keeping all of His promises. I remember my flaws and my triumphs. I remember when I was scared and when I stood up. I remember laughing to fit in and crying because I was so happy. I remember drifting and now I know I am very present. I remember when God gave me Fork and I tried to give it back. I remember God being merciful and giving me an understanding of why it needed to happen now. I remember God showing me the face of my unborn son Moses. I remember all of these things and more. At the end of the day, I remember my life and how great it is. I have a great family, we serve a great God, and we have a great future ahead of us.

My family is not my family because of our blood connection, but because of how we recognize a need in the lives of each other and work to fix it. There are many of you that are not mentioned in this blog, but know the people that are and that makes us family.

If you remember one thing, it is that the joy of the Lord is our strength and without faith it is impossible to please God.

God, thank you for my life.

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Today at church we were asked to commit to our pastor's vision. The men of the church were asked to stand and be seen, if they were on board and committed to what God put on his heart to lead the church. While I stood there I started to think about elementary school and how I hated for the teacher to call on me. I rarely raised my hand and shouted, "Pick me! Pick me!". I recognized that fear operating on many levels is what keeps people from volunteering when life offers opportunities. When I recognized the absence of that feeling, I remembered the child I was didn't raise his hand in class because on top of being fearful of being wrong, I was often unprepared. God was telling me my preparation and development of my faith was up to me. God said when He calls me to raise my hand, I am going to be right because my words will be inspired by Him and the absence of my flesh.

You Are What You Seek

Today I realized that I know the pay off for the things I seek. When the things I seek are vain, the pay off is vain and as temporary as the scent of dinner in a kitchen. The smell doesn't last for more than a night and when it's gone all you can do is reminisce about what you had. When money is my motivation, I get money. However, there is a limit to things money can buy and I don't want my value calculated in dollars and cents. I want to be a man of character and substance and knowledge and wisdom.

God told me, all the goals I set will be accomplished if I go at it 100% through him. Folks, I have a April 1st deadline for a screenplay contest I am entering. I look forward to sharing the good news with you.

Shout out to Geoffrey Fletcher on his historic Oscar win for "Precious".